I’m Jupiter, and Jupiter’s Slut
I’m Jupiter, and Jupiter’s Slut
Writer. Humorist. Accidental Porn Star.
Growing up I was told to “be yourself.” But it was clear by first grade that I wasn’t supposed to touch myself “down there.” I was bad.
Growing up I was told “you can be anything.” But it was clear by fifth grade that I wasn’t really smart, that’s why they put me in “remedial math.” I was stupid.
For the next thirty years, I did everything I could to be good and smart. I put myself in a box, and I fooled everyone…
…even myself at times. I didn’t touch myself, ever. And I buried my academic weaknesses in math under an avalanche of effort in English.
I feared that deep down at my core, my truest self was bad and stupid. I feared that I was a beautiful fruit, with a rotten middle. I feared that if people found about out all of me, they’d be deeply disappointed. Or worse.
I was almost thirty before I faced my math phobia. I was almost forty before I claimed my sexuality. I followed curiosity and joy, taking little playful steps until I was ready to take joyful exhilarating leaps.
This math-phobe became a math teacher, an exceptional one. This terrified, sexually repressed woman eventually became an indie feminist porn producer, creating groundbreaking films. To do this, I had to start telling myself new stories. Now, I share them with you.
My experiences are piss-your-pants funny, full of strength and full of hope for anyone who’s ever feared that deep down they were no good, stupid and unlovable.